Monday, January 31, 2011

My daughters are the best medicine.

I'm not very good at keeping this blog up to date. It seems like I'm always a day or two behind... most of the time even longer. I've been doing pretty well since round 5. When Dr. Ellis said I may not feel well around Wednesday, she was right. I was pretty sick most of the day.Thursday was better, but I was completely exhausted and started getting body aches. I stayed in bed literally allllllll day. When I say all day, I really mean all day. I'm not sure I've done that since chemo began. Not even on my worst days. I still have the body and joint aches but they aren't really what I expected. They feel like I need a really good stretch, except when I stretch it doesn't make a difference. I've considered going to get a massage, but I'm not sure that will even help. I should do it anyway. I kinda feel like I deserve one. ;)

I have to say as tough as I've felt this whole chemo thing has been, I feel like I've gotten it a lot easier than many others. I've been reading through blogs of women who are or who have recently gone through chemo for triple negative breast cancer. They have been so sick (even hospitalized) either by the actual chemo drugs or became sick due to their blood counts being so low. I've only had to go to the emergency room one time for some esophagus pain. I like to believe this is a sign that my body is stronger than this icky cancer.

Vanessa had the day off of school on Friday. So, I wanted to plan a special day for her, Brooke and me. We started the day off going out to breakfast. Breakfast is our favorite meal to eat out. The girls almost always get the same thing. Pancakes. I too, love pancakes, but have been trying to stay away from sugar... and the syrup, unfortunately, is not sugar free. Boo! I was proud of myself, I didn't even have one bite. To not have a bite of pancakes shows my true willpower. :) Who knew turning down pancakes measured my strength. Actually, the day I turn down a brownie will be the true measure of strength in my fight against sugar.

Vanessa & Brooke having fun at breakfast.

After breakfast we hit the nail salon. The girls and I often get our nails painted. We've been doing this together since they were each about 3 years old. I've actually been making this a weekly treat for myself these days. The chemo is making my nails grow in a dark gray, almost black color. I've read where people actually lose their nails while going through chemo. I am crossing my fingers this doesn't happen to me. The thought of this is actually scarier to me than losing my hair. So far I've been able to keep my eyebrows, eye lashes and finger nails. These are the last bits of femininity I have left. Sigh... Please god, let me keep my finger nails!

Vanessa showing off her nails.

Brooke showing off her nails.

It wouldn't be a girls day without doing a little shopping. The girls got to pick out anything they wanted... and they chose hats. I am certain this is because I am wearing a hat everyday. I love that they still want to be like me... even the me with cancer. Have I ever mentioned that I have the two sweetest little girls around? We also took a walk around Pike Place Market in search of some fresh flowers. I'm a little out of the loop because it didn't even occur to me that this is winter and not a lot of fresh flowers to choose from. Woopsy! Can I blame this on "chemo brain" too? The girls were disappointed, but nothing a little ice cream couldn't fix.

                                         I passed on this ice cream goodness too. ;p

While walking through the market we came across a dancing, hula hoopin, harmonica playing, guitar playing, singing man (all at the same time). The girls thought it was pretty cool and couldn't stop laughing. There is nothing better than to see your children smile. It's the best thing in the world. I was beyond tired after our time together but we had such a fun day and I am looking forward to doing it again... and again... and again... and again... :)

                                                          I love this look on her face!


  1. Sounds like an AMAZING day!!! <3 <3 <3

  2. I will give you a massage! My massage bed is all set up and waiting for you. :-) love you. Sounds like such a great day.

  3. Margie...I'm so Happy that you got to spend such a wonderful day with your beautiful girls...You will have many many many more days to share. You DO have the most AMAZING daughters...and they have an AMAZING Mommy!!

    Love You...Erin

  4. Made me cry. Tears of happiness though. I'm so glad you girls had such a fun day! Love you all!

  5. I always know when I need a good cry (with happy tears)all I need to do is read one of your blogs!!! I <3 you so much!! and you are an amazing mother through everything you are going through still making it about the girls (some people going through the same things don't) They have been blessed to have such a great mother!! I <3 you see you soon


  6. sweet, endearing, touching....

  7. Nice post. So you should beat your breast cancer for them. To see them happy.