appointments... and more appointments

It's been awhile since I've written and I wanted to update everyone on how my appointments have been going since my final chemo treatment.

Last Friday I had two doctors appointments. My first appointment was with the Radiology Oncologist. Going into this appointment I really didn't know a lot about radiation except that it's supposed to kill what is left of (if any) the cancer cells inside me. I was called back to talk with a nurse who asked me a long list of questions. Most of the questions seemed pretty standard until she asked me if I had a living will. (blank stare) No, I don't have a living will and honestly until that very second it had never occurred to me to have one. Not one single person had ever brought this up to me before. I literally stared at her for what seemed like forever before I told her no. She then asked me if I'd like information on obtaining a living will. I wanted to tell her no but instead I said yes. When she left the room to get me the information, I began to cry. I immediately thought she was asking me this because she knew something I didn't know. My mind was racing. At this point I still hadn't received the results from my latest MRI. The doctor finally came in and of course the first thing I asked her was about my MRI results. She very happily told me the MRI showed continued improvement, which means the tumor was continuing to shrink! Siiiiigh! This was music to my ears. :)

My next appointment of the day was with the plastic surgeon. Again, I didn't really know what to expect except the Radiology Oncologist did tell me in my earlier appointment that going through radiation doesn't make me a good candidate for breast implants when undergoing reconstructive surgery. At first I wasn't sure how I felt about this. I'd always just assumed that that's what I would do. The plastic surgeon did confirm this same thing. We went over a few different options and I have a lot to think about... but I have a lot of time to make decisions. I won't even be able to begin reconstruction for a minimum of 6 months after I finish radiation. So, I'm putting this in the back of my head for now.

I had my pre-op appointment today. Surprisingly, I wasn't nervous for it. I think I've gotten to the point where I'm ready to get the surgery over with. I'm not saying I think it'll be easy, but I'm not scared like I was. Well, let me rephrase that... I am no longer scared of the surgery... I am still very much scared about the pathology report I will get back after surgery. I want to keeping moving forward with my treatment plan. No setbacks!