Round 9

I completed round 9 of treatment yesterday, leaving me with just 7 more to go. I'm over halfway through this and that makes me a very happy girl. My aunt and uncle went to my treatment with me, and they are very sweet to want to take me. I'm finding that it's important to so many people to want to be a part of this with me and help me get through it in anyway they can. Even something so simple as taking me to treatment. For that, I feel completely blessed and so thankful.

My treatment yesterday may have been the toughest yet. I'm not sure why this one out of all of them. It may be that I'm not taking the extra steroids that I was taking before. Who knows. It felt like I was having a drug overdose. That's the best way to describe it. I was feeling very out of body like. The anxiety lasted pretty much all night and into this morning. Oddly enough, I started to finally relax when I arrived to an ultrasound appointment this morning. The ultrasound was to check the spot they saw on the Pet/CT scan back in November. I always had this "spot" in the back of my head, but my doctor told me it was something we'd visit later into my treatment as it wasn't the main focus. So, I put it in the back of my head and let it stay there until now. Going into this ultrasound I hoped that they would tell me it was just a cyst, but I kind of knew that wouldn't be the case. And it wasn't. I don't know much yet, but do know it's not a cyst. It's a solid nodule that is a little over a half inch. I will have to do a biopsy to find out if it's cancer or benign. I'm hoping benign. Fingers crossed! Luckily, from what I've heard, thyroid cancer is the easiest treated cancer you can get. When I left the appointment I was feeling a little defeated. I wasn't ready to just get in my car and go on with my day, so I ended up just sitting in the lobby of the hospital for about 20 minutes trying to process this all. Not just the thyroid issue, but everything. I keep going back to the question of why me? Why do I have to go through all this? Is it some sort of lesson that I need to learn about life? Am I going to be a better person when this is all over? Right now, all I know for sure is I really really hate cancer and I'm really really ready for this to be over.


On a happier note, I think my hair is starting to grow back. It's growing back in small patches in random places, but it's still growing. :) I have definitely taken to not having to shave my legs the last few months, but I am gladly welcoming that back right about now. What's strange is as I'm growing back the hair on my legs and head, I'm losing my eyebrows and eyelashes. I'm not sure if this is a fair trade. = p